Letting Go of Control: A Couple's Adventure in Pelling
Tanusha Jangid
The Pelling Rewrite
When Pixie Needs To Let Go Of The Perfect Plan And Noddy Learns To Stop Fixing Everything
The Problem
Pixie had spreadsheets.
Color-coded tabs. Backup plans for backup plans. Timeline with buffer time built into buffer time. She'd researched every restaurant rating, cross-referenced reviews, mapped walking routes down to the minute.
Their anniversary trip had a 47-page Google Doc.
"This is insane," Noddy said, scrolling through it.
"It's thorough."
"It's controlling."
"I just want everything to be perfect."
"Nothing's ever perfect, Pixie."
"It can be if I plan enough."
Noddy closed his laptop. "We're going to Pelling."
"That's not in the doc."
"I know."
"But I haven't researched"
"Exactly. No research. No spreadsheets. No control. Just us and whatever happens."
"I will have a panic attack."
"Probably. But we're still going."
She hated him a little bit. Also loved him. Mostly hated him.
Day 1: The Monastery Lesson
Pemayangtse Monastery. Ancient. Quiet. Walls that had seen centuries of people trying to control things they couldn't.
"We're late," Pixie muttered, checking her watch.
"Late for what?"
"Optimal lighting for photos. I read that 9 AM is"
"Pixie."
"What?"
"Stop."
The monks were chanting. Deep, rhythmic sounds that filled the space. No one cared about optimal lighting. No one was timing anything.
An elderly monk smiled at her. Gestured for them to sit.
They sat.
Pixie's knee bounced anxiously. Noddy put his hand on it. Not to stop her. Just to be there.
"I don't know what I'm doing," she whispered.
"None of us do."
The chanting continued. Time felt different here. Slower. Less urgent.
At Rabdentse Ruins afterward, Pixie stared at crumbled palace walls.
"This was someone's perfect plan once," she said.
"Yeah."
"They probably had spreadsheets too. Medieval spreadsheets."
"Probably."
"And now it's just... ruins."
"Beautiful ruins."
She turned to him. "Are you saying my planning is pointless?"
"I'm saying your planning can't stop things from falling apart. But also can't stop things from being beautiful anyway."
Her eyes got wet.
"I hate when you're wise," she said.
"I know."
Lunch at Grains Pure Veg was unplanned. They just walked in. No reservation. No research.
The food was incredible.
"This wasn't in my backup restaurant list," Pixie admitted.
"How's it taste?"
"Better than planned."
"Huh."
She threw a napkin at him.
Day 2: The Bridge & The Breaking Point
Singshore Bridge. Suspension bridge. Very high. Very long. Very not-in-Pixie's-comfort-zone.
"Absolutely not," she said.
"Come on."
"I researched this. People have died."
"People have also not died."
"The statistics"
"Pixie. You can't research your way out of being scared."
"Watch me."
But she walked onto the bridge anyway. Shaking. Gripping the railing.
Halfway across, she stopped. Couldn't move forward. Couldn't move back.
"I can't do this."
"You're already doing it."
"I mean life. I can't do life without knowing what's coming. What if I mess up? What if we mess up? What if"
"What if we don't?"
She looked at him. "That's not how probability works."
"Probability doesn't know us."
The bridge swayed slightly. Pixie's breath caught.
"I need control," she said. "It's the only way I feel safe."
"But you're not safe. None of us are. We're all just on bridges hoping they hold."
"That's terrifying."
"Yeah. But also freeing."
She took one step. Then another. Made it across.
On solid ground, she sat down hard.
"I hate this trip," she said.
"No you don't."
"I want to hate this trip."
"Also fair."
The Chenrezig Statue and Skywalk came next. Glass floor. Looking straight down into valley.
"You're kidding," Pixie said.
"Nope."
"This is cruel."
"This is exposure therapy."
She walked onto the skywalk. Didn't look down at first. Then did.
Didn't die.
"I'm still alive," she said, surprised.
"Told you."
At Khecheopalri Lake—sacred, silent, surrounded by prayer flags—something shifted.
Pixie sat by the water.
"I've been trying to control everything because I'm terrified of losing you," she said quietly.
Noddy sat beside her. "You can't lose me by not having a spreadsheet."
"You don't know that."
"I do, actually. Because I'm not going anywhere."
"People always say that."
"I'm not people. I'm the guy who just made you walk across a terrifying bridge and you're still here. That's commitment."
She almost smiled. "That's just stubbornness."
"Yours or mine?"
"Both."
The lake was perfectly still. Reflecting mountains. Reflecting sky. Not trying to control anything.
Just being.
"I don't know how to not plan," Pixie admitted.
"You don't have to not plan. You just have to leave room for things to be different than the plan."
"What if different is worse?"
"What if different is better?"
She didn't have an answer for that.
Day 3: The Falls & The Feeling
Kanchenjunga Falls. Water crashing down rocks. Loud. Chaotic. Beautiful.
"Nature doesn't have a spreadsheet," Noddy said.
"Nature also kills people."
"You're very dark today."
"I'm processing."
At Rimbi Waterfall, surrounded by orange gardens, Pixie picked an orange.
"This wasn't in the plan," she said.
"How's it taste?"
She bit into it. Sweet. Messy. Juice running down her chin.
"Unplanned," she said.
"Good unplanned or bad unplanned?"
"Terrifying unplanned."
But she was smiling.
At Sanga Choeling Monastery 17th century, hillside climb, no Google Maps route to optimize they sat in silence.
"I think I'm different," Pixie said.
"Yeah?"
"I still want to plan things. But maybe not 47 pages."
"That's growth."
"Maybe 30 pages."
"Baby steps."
She leaned against him. "Thank you for dragging me here."
"Thank you for not killing me."
"Day's not over."
Dinner at K-Kitchen was unresearched. Unplanned. Unreserved.
And perfect.
"Okay fine," Pixie said. "Maybe some good things happen without spreadsheets."
"Most good things happen without spreadsheets."
"Don't push it."
The Flight Back
Different person flying home than flew there.
Still a planner. Still anxious. But with a little more space for uncertainty.
"Can I make one spreadsheet for the next trip?" Pixie asked.
"How many pages?"
"Twenty?"
"Deal."
At home, Pixie kept planning. But left blank spaces now. For accidents. For changes. For things being different than expected.
Is she perfect at it? No.
Does she still panic? Constantly.
But she remembers Pelling. The bridge. The falls. The moment she realized control was just fear wearing a spreadsheet.
The Real Talk
Pelling isn't just pretty mountains.
It's also a place where your spreadsheets don't matter.
Where bridges sway and you walk them anyway.
Where sacred lakes don't need your color-coded tabs.
Where you remember that life happens in the spaces between plans.
You can't control everything.
But you can show up anyway.
Ready To Let Go?
Pemayangtse Monastery. Rabdentse Ruins. Singshore Bridge. Chenrezig Statue and Skywalk. Khecheopalri Lake. Kanchenjunga Falls. Rimbi Waterfall. Sanga Choeling Monastery.
Book with Experiana Trails.
We'll handle the logistics. You handle the surrender.
Because sometimes the best trips are the ones that don't go according to plan.
Sometimes you just need mountains and waterfalls to teach you what spreadsheets can't.
We'll get you there.
Chat Now
